Asked by Anonymous
Lies, I say! All lies!!
Andy. Beverly Hills. Atheist. Polyamorous/relationship anarchist. Kinkster. I like things. Let's fuck.
- I woke up feeling majorly nauseated.
- I forgot to put on deodorant.
- I forgot the can of energy drink I have in the car every day so I can wake up.
- I left my lunch in the fridge.
- I missed my freeway exit.
- I twisted my ankle walking from my car to my office.
I can’t wait to see what other thrilling adventures the day holds in store for me!
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be “in a relationship,” how you’re supposed to treat friends vs. partners and what obligations and commitments distinguish friendships from other relationships. This basically encompasses all of my feelings about relationships. In fact, thinking about it really hard, I can’t really find a difference between romantic and platonic relationships that exists outside of societally imposed conceptions of obligations to one another that may exist in one proposed type of relationship but not the other.
The whole “being in a relationship” distinction seems so arbitrary and unnecessarily formal to me. Like, one day you’re not “in a relationship” and then you have “the talk” and magically you are in a relationship.
I get that it matters to some people, but it’s a sort of binary that just doesn’t line up with my own relationship preferences both in theory and in practice.
Ah, all the wonderful up-and-down, jittery, annoying feelings of re-adjusting to my medication regimen. I’m exhausted and have trouble focusing on things during the day, yet I can’t fall asleep at night. I’m lethargic and unmotivated, yet fidgety and irritable and ready to lunge at anyone who dares irritate me. Anxiety level is through the roof and I seem to be finding my hands balled tightly into fists almost constantly.
Better living through chemistry, right?
Your parents are absolutely right about polyamory and you should stay away from it before you get hurt. It's a great theory but it NEVER works out that way in real life. You will always go into it with good intentions and get used and hurt. Whatever ground rules you think you'll have will be ignored by these poly sleaze bags. Stay away for your own sake
Asked by Anonymous
Honestly, I think what’s most important are the people. You have to have people you trust and know won’t abuse your trust. I believe most polyamorous partners can have a successful relationship if they all are open about what they are doing. So while I see your point of view, I think we should agree to disagree. Thank you for your opinion though!
What the dear anon fails to understand is this:
How often are good intentions misconstrued and ground rules broken in MONOGAMOUS relationships? Judging by the 50% divorce rate, which doesn’t even count people who remain married yet miserable, or legally married but physically separated…. Yeah.
Opening yourself up to ANY relationship, let alone more than one, is inviting a risk because the sad truth of any relationship is that they all involve people, and people often suck. People make mistakes and bad decisions and let irrational fears or temptation of instant gratification get the better of them. Poly people cheat just like mono people cheat. Poly people lie just like mono people lie.
You’re very right in that the right people can make all the difference in that, of course~ Just understand that no one is perfect, and even though the right people will minimize the chances of drama, you’re still likely to have bumps occasionally. But as long as you all understand that, and don’t expect each other to be perfect, and are willing to communicate “hey this is why that hurt me” “this is why I did what I did” “this is how we can make that better in the future” and so-forth, and forgive each other and actually commit to the discussed changes— to let your relationship grow and evolve and change as you do— then I’m sure you’ll be in for a wonderful ride~ :3
^^^ THIS. ^^^
Anyone who claims to know that any sort of relationship NEVER works will pretty much ALWAYS be ill-informed and incorrect.